For the First Time in a Long Time
by franky87
Summary: What should have happened at Lucas' book signing.OneShot. "I stepped into the crowded bookstore hesitantly. This was alright. This was okay. He invited me so he wanted me there. This was okay, right?"


Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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I stepped into the crowded bookstore hesitantly. This was alright. This was okay. He invited me so he wanted me there. This was okay, right? I looked up to see his face gracing a poster on a wall across the room. He looked well. His facial hair accentuated his chin. He looked grown up. Telling all this from a picture didn't give me any insight. I needed to see him.

I got in line with all the other people. Some old, some young, a mix of generations. I still couldn't see him. Book shelves blocked my view. Within a few minutes we had rounded the corner. But I was staring at the top of his head. He didn't even look at the people whose books he was signing. He was always brooding. It made me smile to think that some things never did change.

The line slowly inched forward every minute. I felt like I was waiting for an eternity, but if that's how long it would have taken, I would gladly do it again. I would wait forever if I had to. I took a long step up to the table he was sitting at. He dragged a book of the pile stacked next to him.

"What's your name?" he asked with his eyes on the blank page before the title page.

"What, you don't even look at your adoring fans anymore?" I saw his movements stop. His pen fell on the table and some woman next to him turned and looked at me with a questioning eye. He knew it was me. His eyes made it slowly up to my face. They were so full of shock and surprise. I smiled as he looked into my eyes for the first time in a long time.

"What, what are you doing here?" he asked as he stood up. He knocked into the table nervously and all the books fell over. I stifled a laugh as he tried to regain composure. I bent over in an attempt to help pick up the books. He was on the floor helping me along with that woman that was next to him. Without noticing our actions, we reached for the same book. Our hands collided and for the first time in a long time my heart jumped and I felt alive again. Our eyes met and I quickly pulled away when the woman helping us cleared her throat.

"Thanks for helping. I'm Lindsey, Lucas' editor," she said extending her hand. I set the books down and took the greeting kindly.

"Oh, hi," I said sheepishly, "I'm Peyton, Peyton Sawyer." Lucas coughed behind me.

"Oh wow. I never expected to meet the Peyton Sawyer," Lindsey added while she turned to Lucas and popped another questioning eyebrow. She knew our story, hell, everyone in the store did. But I have a feeling it broke her heart to know that I was still around. I think I drowned her hopes. Oops.

"Sorry, everyone. There will be another signing if you can come tomorrow that'd be great," she announced to the customers. They all turned and left with annoyed grunts and impatient whines.

"Well, I'm just going to go and head out. I'll see you tomorrow Lucas?" she asked impatiently.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he answered not really answering. His eyes were on me.

She left us standing there like two idiots. It wasn't until I heard the door close that I remembered where we were exactly.

"What are you doing here Peyton?" he repeated his earlier question.

"What am I doing here? You invited me, remember? And plus it's nice to see you. I feel like it's been ages."

"It's only been a year."

"One year too many," and with that statement his eyes were back on mine. I had his full attention. I stepped closer to him and found my arms making their way around his familiar frame. His arms snaked around my waist and held me close. I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. I missed him. I missed him so, so much.

"I've missed you Peyton," he whispered into my ear. I pulled back out of his warm embrace as to get a good look at him.

"I've missed you too Luke," I added simply. "Look at all this. You've really done it. You've really made something out of yourself. I'm so proud of you Lucas."

"I wouldn't have been able to without you," he said honestly.

"Me, ha, I didn't do anything."

"You, you did everything!" he yelled passionately. "You gave me the courage to write this book Peyton. Hell, I was even in LAX when I found out it was getting published. Every word in this thing," he said picking up the book for emphasis, "Was written for you."

I looked at him with love and adoration. I didn't deserve to see him. I didn't deserve to hear him say these wonderful things. I didn't deserve him.

"I should go Luke. It was nice to see you," I said turning away from him, not giving him a second thought.

"Don't do this Peyton! Don't come in here and get my hopes up. Don't leave again. Stop running from me!" He grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. We were close to the door and I pushed it open.

"Come on, we're going to my place," I said while still holding his hand. I dragged him out into the open and walked all the way back to my apartment without a single word uttered. I'm sure he was confused. I'm sure he was questioning every move he made.

We reached my door and I unlocked it and walked in first to turn on the lights. He followed me in and shut the door behind us. I walked into the hallway when I realized he wasn't behind me anymore. I turned to him.

"There's something I want you to see," I picked up his hand from his side and lead him into the living room area. I stopped in front of a book shelf half filled with vinyls and half filled with books. I let him find out on his own. I let his eyes search the titles and covers of the books. I heard a faint but sharp intake of breath from his mouth and I knew he had found it. His eyes landed on the copies of his book I had been collecting.

"Whenever I see a copy, I buy it. I know it hasn't been out that long and I know they're sort of hard to find but what the hell. Help a fellow artist right? Anyways, I have the original and a bunch of others. I didn't get my signed copy today, but that can wait right?" I turned to him waiting to hear so sort of response. He picked up the black, leather bound copy he had given me before I left for L.A. He examined it and opened it to the first blank page.

"I've been signing books all day. Do you have a pen?" he asked with his eyes still in the book.

"Sure," I said handing him a pen. He took a few steps back and sat on the couch. He put his pen to work and started writing. I put my thumb in my mouth and started biting on my nail. A new habit I had picked up. I started pacing as well.

"Would you sit still?" he asked and motioned for me to sit on the couch. I came over and sat a good three feet away from him. I couldn't see what he was writing. It seemed like hours went by as he wrote down a little note in the blank pages in the front of the book and then he was done, he shut the book and laid it on the coffee table. He leaned back into the couch and took a slow breath.

"Wow. I just didn't… Well… Wow. I don't think I've ever been this inarticulate," he tried to say plainly.

"I was always there you just never seemed to call."

"I would have, I was just busy."

"With the book."

"Yeah, the book."

He looked over at me and reached for my hand. I let him take it. And there we sat holding hands staring into the space before us.

"Can I read it?"

"When I leave please. I just don't think I could handle it."

"Okay."

He stood up to leave and started his way to the door. I got up and rushed behind him. I opened the door before he could get there.

"Well, I'll be seeing you," I repeated our infamous lines as I pulled him into a hug.

"Come by tomorrow? We'll have coffee before I leave, I'd really like to see you one more time."

"Sure Luke, that'd be nice."

He stepped out of the door and gave a little wave goodbye before I shut the door. I rushed back into the living room and tore the book open. I gazed down at the familiar hand writing and read each word twice.

_Peyton-_

_Thank you. Thank you for believing in me and supporting my dream. Thanks for being there when it came true. And thank you for being such a big part of it. Every word in here is for you, like I said. I can't imagine life without you. Even now when we are 3,000 miles apart you are a part of my everything. You are in the air I breathe. You are my oxygen. Help me breathe again. There is no life without you. I love you. I always have and I always will. Come back to me. I need you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Lucas_

I put the book down and was now fully in tears. I had just let him go. He would probably go to dinner with that editor. I had to find him. I rushed to the door, not even bothering with the mascara running down my cheeks. I pulled open the door with such force I almost fell over. Then I stopped dead in my tracks. There he was. There was the boy with those blue eyes that captured my heart so many years ago.

"Lucas…" I choked out. His eyes found mine and he didn't say anything. He didn't say a single thing. He stepped into my apartment. His hands found my face and his thumbs wiped off the still running mascara.

"I'm not going anywhere. I refuse to leave. I simply won't. I have to have this. I need us. I need you," he pleaded. He didn't need to plea. I was his forever, he knew that.

"I need you too," and with that he crashed his lips to mine. For the first time in a long time I felt safe. I felt like I was home. I felt love. He was mine. Forever.


End file.
